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I had yet to see his penis these past three months, but my guess was that it was probably the typical white suburban kid affair. "Alright man, I guess this is it." I put down Dickens and got on my knees in front of Mark. This would totally make my day" He perked up in the chair ever so slightly. "Hell yes man, I have a whole two months before I go back home. "Well, I suppose if you actually wanted me to do this, I could." Maybe I could appease, though it might go badly and turn the rest of the year with this guy really sour. I wasn't exactly leading the greatest sex life since moving to a tiny semi-religious school in the woods of Vermont. "Seriously though, I just want a blow job. Mark looked over, sweaty and panting, slouching low in his chair. "Oh you know I would Mark but Dickens demands my attention." "Funny, but isn't there a whole don't ask don't tell thing still in effect." I didn't think he was serious because guys, especially the straight ones, always seemed to say the gayest things. Those guys worked harder than any athlete at our school hands-down. Months of blue-ball seemed to have gone to his head because one day after his ROTC training, he came home exhausted. I was feeling a bit more confident about the whole life thing and for the next couple of weeks, life was better than normal. Seriously, you're probably the first of my friends to not totally freak" so glad to hear there were "some cool gay guys," that's exactly what I was worried about). There were some cool gay guys at my high school. Don't get me wrong, It's not like I've been creeping on you or anything." "Honestly Mark, I probably should have told you this at the beginning of the quarter, but I am gay.
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What are you gay?" He wasn't being a dick or anything but at this moment, I wanted to slap him across the face. It stung to feel like a gay pariah and his comments just brought up a lot of bad memories of senior year. "Oh I'm far from that" I said somewhat sheepishly. "HA but seriously, your'e a friggin preist."
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Just me, my hand, and the soap." He burst out laughing at this point. I don't need any of that shit distracting me." "What about you man? I never see you with anyone around here. Then he asked me if I had any girls back home. On the way to the center-house he started talking about some girl he had blue balls for back in Minnesota which I was feigning any attention to. After a while, he asked if I wanted to grab a bite to eat for dinner. I was doing some reading and he was playing some video games. It was a Friday where there seemed to be nothing going on. It wasn't until about a month into school that I finally came out to him. We left for orientation together and for the next few days we stuck together, met people in our dorm and settled into the new college life. I kind of liked him and he seemed cool enough. He was going far away from home for the thrill of it, a ROTC guy, medium height, buff. I went back to my room just an hour before orientation and discovered Mark from Minnesota, my new room mate. In the morning, I went for a run, grabbed my first college meal in the center-house, and got ready for the orientation events. I figured it was best to make that clear to my roomie.Īfter some unpacking, I switched on Hulu for a couple of hours and went to bed. I was nervous about that aspect of college because if I was going to be Scott, I was going to be gay too. Orientation didn't officially start till noon the next day and my room mate had yet to arrive. My books were waiting for me at the campus library. I arrived for orientation three days before class started with little more than my laptop and a big suitcase of clothes. I was going to be Scott, the same chill kid I was back home and I wasn't going to let anyone mess with me. I was going to start fresh and state clearly who I was from the get-go. So I headed north to a little college in Vermont where I knew no one. Then again, maybe I hadn't given them enough time. All that shit about people coming to accept who you are was total bull. I had zero friends that wanted to be around me after I came out senior year. When I surveyed my list of colleges that I had been accepted to, the only thing on my mind was getting as far away from home as possible.